Feral

Feral...

Read the last thing I wrote, thought it's all sounding a bit serious. A bit dark. A bit too concerned with the darkness that is part of my experience right now.

There is more

A lot more...

Went home feeling shattered, cycling home just was hard.

Food
bit of rest
but was restless

 Thought I must train now

so cycled more

 to a big slag heap a couple of miles from my hoose.

Started going up and down it. Maybe 150ft up. Steep and sinky.
Tiring.
Up and down, over and over.
Hard.

I lost myself in this. Cooled my face with puddle water as I pushed myself. Felt feral, wanted to be.

Wanted fire and darkness

to keep going into the night, wanted mud, muck and struggle.

Felt free'r than I have for a long time.

Felt lucky to have this quiet private place to work hard on hill fitness, happy knowing it is there and that much can be gained upon this slope.

It is reminiscent of the way we created our climbing training places when we were wee. Odd local walls and cliffs where we took many not inconsiderable risks, pushed our boundaries and worked hard, building strength into fingers and our hearts. Mark had his in Blantyre, I had mine in Old Kilpatrick.

feral energy

From our beginnings

I'm trying to set it free

a part of me I almost forgot I have

it's coming back

It feels angry

Determined

Hard

I feel it...

Colin.