Friday 20 February 2015

An Emotional Rescue...

Eiger

It's funny, I remember all those years ago fighting my way up the Eiger's North Face, full of fire and anguish from just ending a long term relationship.

The Eiger Paraclimb project holds a similar meaning for me but not in the same way the North Face did. My life has been an emotional epic since I chose to fix up my past in the Pyrenees where I found a woman who could professionally help me shift a profound level of emotional confusion stemming from a childhood of abusive events from the age of 6 to around 12 years old, then come to the terms with the loss of my business, my family, my financial identity and finally my home. Wandering around the beautiful countryside and mountains of the Pyrenees in the days and nights between the therapy sessions was perfect for me. Her name was Kalba Medows, an English psychotherapist living & working from her amazing home in the mountains of the Pyrenees (my hero!)


Pyrenees

A place where I had complete anonymity to walk freely and concentrate my mind on unfolding my emotional self, as a boy and laterally as a man. I needed to lose myself completely in me for four months in that place to morn my past and allow optimism to seed and grow because I wanted the best life for myself and that meant eventually sharing my life again and that needed care.


Island living

Letting go of a long term marriage to circumstances was possibly the thing that nearly broke me. I loved them all but I was just so lost in myself that I knew I wanted a partner who was more like me. Not someone who had experienced directly what I had (I wouldn't wish that on the devil) but someone who knew about real loss. A woman who had faced the unthinkable and learned to accept it, then grow and connect deeply with others.

When I was on the Eiger before, I came back and went to college, met a girl and married her and had two beautiful blond girls. The Eiger is a committing experience and so is a long term relationship. But they were both worth it.


A christmas cuddle from one of my blondies

For now, it's been great having the Eiger Paraclimb to focus my days and weeks on, remaining un attached for over 15 months now, in an attempt to rescue my life. The Eiger is part of this rescue.




Falling in love brings music to the heart (well, it does mine) but I want a song that starts slowly and never stops... I always have.